Friday, September 4, 2009

"He is dead." they told me as I walked up the steep stairs that lead to his tower. I was not surprised, just disappointed in the way things had turned out that day. You see I would have been there 20 minutes before he died, if the woman in the wheel chair hadn't attacked me. Yes, a woman in a wheelchair attacked me. I was coming out of the floral shop with some daffodils, his favorite, when out of no-where a flash of steel and wheels collided with my lower half. Knocked senseless the blur soon cleared only seconds before i realized this obese wench on wheels was beating me with her candy striped cane. Her eyes were hollow offering me a clear view of her brain, which was totally friend, it looked like a dehydrated turtle. I quickly got over the shock and reached for the mace in front pocket, mace won't do shit, the bitch doesn't have any eyes... I thought so I opted for the taser hidden in my boot. 50,000 volts of holy electricity went pulsing through that atrocity on a chair. When the deed was done I pulled my self up being sure not to touch the still smoking demonic corpse still hacking through the charred flesh melting off her bones. I gathered the fallen daffodils and started running for knew that I was running out of time.
I still would have made it 5 minutes before he died, that is to say if I hadn't fallen into the lair of the cyclops. Yes a cyclops, he was no giant or supernatural creature, simply a large hairy man with only one eye. I was running so fast I ran right into him. Unfortunately for me he was allergic to daffodils and it wasn't the fact that I ran straight into him that was bothersome it was the fact that daffodil pollen now inhabited his nasal passage and he fell into a rage of sneezing and wheezing. Not your average allergy attack mind you his sneezes were blowing roofs off of houses, trees were uprooted from the ground, and i believe i saw a cow fly forty feet into the air and sored brutally into a windmill. Well I couldn't let this proceed. I was unable to fight my way passed the sporadic wind gusts, so I reached into my bag and pulled out my bow and arrow. I aimed it steadily, pulled back, and released my message of peacefulness directly into the cyclops one remaining eye. The storm was instantly over. I grabbed the one remaining unspoiled flower and ran like my life depended on it.
"He's Dead." they told me when I arrived. I walked passed them into his room and lay the daffodil on his chest, kissed his brow, and exited.
And This is how it always is, and always will be. I thought and continued on my way to the florist shop for her favorite flowers are roses and if I hurry I can make it at least 30 minutes before her passing.